May 29, 2017

also known as the scariest day as a parent yet.


the absolute longest and most terrifying 37 minutes of my life went down like this:

4:35--gave Fletcher spoon full of peanut butter
4:37--texted Julia "We're trying it again too. Even though he's broken out twice." [oh Lauren, you fool] Julia was giving Wade his second taste of peanut butter too that afternoon.
4:45ish--Fletcher starts coughing. He's had a cold so I didn't think it was too abnormal.
4:46ish---Fletcher is coughing more. So, I asked Jared to come listen to him. Jared thinks he might have peanut butter stuck in his mouth. Mom instincts are telling me something is not right. Nursing judgment is out the window at this point
4:48ish--Fletcher starts to wheeze, drool, cry, sweat, and is looking very scared
4:48:30ish--we start to freak, I told Jared we need to get Benadryl in him. But of course I forget how much we are supposed to give him. Jared is reading the box which states "not recommended for children under two." I yell, "I know but I know we can give it to him, damn it," while googling the dosage to administer.
4:49ish--finally find the dosage (3.75mL) and try to give it to Fletcher who can barely swallow
4:50--called pediatrician on call to explain situation and get advice on what to do. She said they have a very low threshold for reactions to peanuts and to call 911
4:54--Jared calls 911
[I think they arrived around 3-5 minutes later which feels like an eternity when you are in full blown panic mode]
5:00ish--breathing is much better. Fletcher and mom have calmed down. EMS says breath sounds are normal, pulse ox and heart rate are normal.
5:12--snap survival picture with EMS people because when you have just had that intense of a moment, you need to document it.

The next day I took Fletcher to the pediatrician where we were asked a lot of questions and prescribed an epi pen. When we arrived at the pharmacy they told us the pen they prescribed was going to $600. I directly said, no, it will not be. The tech helped to get us set up with a generic which only cost $60 for two. Sheesh, I knew there was controversy about these epi pens but I was ignorant and didn't pay attention or care until my kid actually had an allergy.


I genuinely went through the stages of grief after the reaction and being diagnosed with the allergy. Initially it was denial. The pediatrician asked me if I wanted allergy testing and promptly said "no." Why, I couldn't tell you. I thought, well we already have an epi pen so if he almost nearly dies from anything else we will be ready. Then it was a lot of anger. I still am angry and sad. As a mother you never want your children to live with any limitations. I fully understand that peanut allergies are very common and are much more mainstream now. I also understand that he could have a much worse or obscure allergy. However, that does not prevent me from being worried about everything he puts in his mouth or what he could come in contact with on the playground or at someone else's house or if he is around someone who doesn't recognize the signs of a reaction. I don't want Fletcher to have to worry about what he can or can't eat. I don't want to be one of those crazy helicopter moms that constantly worry. But, here I am reading labels and planning where the epi pens will be stored. It just sucks, it really really really sucks. So yes, still working through the anger and depression stages. Not quite to acceptance because I did everything "like I was told" and he still ended up having a scary reaction.


Our plan is to find a great allergist and get him tested to find out the severity of his allergy so we can be prepared for the future. We are also lucky that we live in an area with wonderful doctors and hospitals. there are world renowned allergist who are doing clinical trials for peanut allergies. One is working on sensitizing children. When Fletcher is older I hope to get him into one of those.


It took me a long time to sit down and write this post because I was so upset and still am. Even reading this over I get emotional thinking about what happened and what his life will look like from here. However, we have a great support system and have friends whose children also have allergies so we are not alone.

Nine Years

Nine years ago today Jared asked me to officially be his girlfriend. I will never forget that moment. I can recall exactly what we both were wearing. Where exactly he did it. How he said it and the little quiver in his voice.

May 24, 2008 my goodness, we were babies

I won't get too sappy here because that is not really our style. But boy, am I sure glad this wonderful man asked me that question nine years ago. It has been the best adventure ever since and I am thankful to be spending my life with him.

I once wrote about our "love story" here. Four years later, you can now add, wedding, moving back to Raleigh, buying a house, two new careers and a baby to that story. Phew.

this is an old picture from our friends wedding in 2014 but still a favorite of us. Jared got to sing on stage with the band, Old Habits, and made my heart swoon.

Cheers, to nine years with my favorite guy around. Thanks for keeping life exciting. I pray our son grows up to be just like you and treats his wife as good as you treat me. Lastly, "when I am with you I feel like I could die and that would be alright, alright."

Fletcher Thirteen and Fourteen Months

This age is the BEST. I know I say it every time, but, for real, this is my favorite age. I wish I could bottle it up and keep it this way.

I mean, come on.

My favorites about this age:

• total mamas boy
• the way he comes running to us after he hasn't seen one of us after daycare that day
• when he is walking and holds his hand straight up for you to take it so you can hold hands and walk
• his laugh. Honestly, it is the most joyful, amazing, sweetest sound in the entire world
• playing chase is the most fun game on earth to him right now
• his love for flowers
• he doesn't scream bloody murder in the car seat anymore [anxiety about travelling have decreased greatly]
• his walk waddle
• obsession with books and wanting to sit in your lap and be read to
• cuddling after a long day before he goes to bed. He still lets me hold him after his finishes his milk and we just sit there for a few minutes before I put him in his crib
• the way he snuggles his head into my neck
• his jabbering. No real words yet, but lots of babbling.
• the shocked face and sound he makes when he is acting surprised
• the face he makes when you ask "where did it go" and he tosses his hands up and shrugs his shoulders
• gaining a little more independence
• watching him learn and grow from a baby to a toddler. We have seen the biggest changes yet between months 11 and now.
• asking him to do something and him actually doing it. For example, "fletcher bring this to dad." and he will take whatever I give him right to his dad
• loves throwing stuff in the trash since we are trying to teach him to clean up after himself
• his memory. He remembers much more than we give him credit for
• thinking I have the smartest baby on the planet
• how sweet he is. He loves to wave and blow kisses to complete strangers.

I am telling you, I could go on and on about this age. It really is the best.

best surprise face ever

As soon as I wrote that post about his temper tantrums, they seemed to decrease greatly and are really far and few between. It is like so many of the things we worry about as parents, but, just as soon as it started, it stopped. I am not naïve to think my child will not have a category five meltdown in the grocery store in the near future, but for now, I am enjoying this sweet, kind, happy little boy we have.

MONTH(S) HIGHLIGHTS

Uncle Matt and Aunt Kelly's baby shower for Wyatt, finger-painting thank you cards, playing with the play grill set from Dad, mowing lawn with bubble lawn mower, riding down the cul-de-sac hill on the play John Deere ATV with no fear, cue-grass festival downtown, first Easter, visit to Pullen park to ride the carousel and the train, visit to the Outer Banks for mamas half marathon, spirit week at school, pool time at Uncle James' new apartment pool, picking lots of flowers, visit from Uncle Chinn, trying to be just like Dad, moving up to toddler hall, visit to Wilmington for Mother's Day, and hanging out with Uncle Michael who is visiting from San Francisco.

we are so excited to meet Wyatt, due to arrive May 31st!

finger-painting turned into eating the finger paint...

grilling, just like Dad

favorite thing to do, obviously

cue-grass festival on literally the hottest day in April ever

carousel at Pullen Park on Easter

swimming in the pool at Uncle James'

the love for the animal magnets is real.

obsession with flowers and loves to pick them, especially our neighbors...

playing basketball with Dad

surprise visit from Uncle Chinn

all the boys headed to Wilmington

reading with Uncle Michael

officially a mom now that a good picture was messed up due to snot on the dress

being this boys mama is the greatest gift ever

yummy family dinner at Indochine where Fletcher loved eating rice

visiting best friend, Wade

As much as I want to freeze time, I am having so much fun watching him grow into a little person. He learns new things all the time and I just wish it would slow down a little so I could catch it all. He is cautious but also a little daredevil. He is kind but will steal toys with the best of them. He will make you want to pull you hair out but then will tug on those heart strings just as hard.

Oh sweet boy, what will the next two months bring us? We have a lot of travel weekends in our future. Looking forward to a summer spent at the river and beach with family and friends

Our Trip to the Outer Banks

Having the half marathon in the Outer Banks made for a great excuse to have a little family getaway. We invited my mom, James and Matthew to come, but there was a day before and a few days after the race that were just the three of us. It was a perfect mixture.

pit stop on the way at the most scenic rest stop you have ever seen

We rented a house just a few blocks away from the beach. Jared and I both agreed this would be the perfect house to come back to with a group of friends and their kids. The set up was awesome. The deck was huge. The pool (in warmer months) would be great after a day at the beach. It even had a separate garage with a pool table and wet bar for adults to hang out and be loud after the kiddos go to sleep. Fletcher loved the house because of the layout, it was an open floor plan where he could just do laps. He loved playing on the deck too.

DAY ONE

We got to Kitty Hawk around 12 but couldn't check into the house until 3 so we had lunch at Hurricane Mos, walked on the beach, and picked up my race packet to kill time.

a little unsure about this sand stuff

Once we unloaded all the stuff we brought, we made use of the rather warm day and hopped in the pool. It was freezing. Fletcher was not a fan so he sat on the edge most of the time with me or walked around the pool trying to climb on all the chairs.

you honestly never know what you may need. we packed like we were preparing for the apocalypse.

DAY TWO

We started our morning with a trip to the Wright Brother's National Memorial. It was National Parks Day so we got in for free. Score. We walked around the park and saw where the first flights were taken. Fletcher fell asleep on the way up the large dune to the monument. It was beautiful.

Next up, hot dogs. They don't compare to Trolly Stop but you can't beat eating hot dogs with a salt air smell.

Finally, we were able to make it out to the beach for the afternoon. This was the last weekend you could drive on the beach which made Jared very happy. It reminded us a little bit like Ocracoke, just not as pretty and way more horse flies which were awful.

first time actually playing in the sand. one scoop in the bucket, one scoop in the mouth.

DAY THREE--Race Day!

Well, I woke up early and ran 13.1 miles.

After the race and party we went to get lunch at Awful Arthur's which had delicious seafood. And of course a fun photo op outside of their gift shop area.

The day was kind of yucky so we just hung around the house.

DAY FOUR

It was really overcast outside so we decided to head to the aquarium. Fletcher loved it. First, we walked around outside in their nature section and out on the pier. Then we headed inside where Fletcher was in awe of all the giant fish tanks. His favorite area by far was the large shark tank. He plastered his face against the glass and watched them swim by.

After nap time we headed to Hatteras Lighthouse. We couldn't take Fletcher up to the top because there is no elevator and the rules state you must be able to walk all flights by yourself without being carried. We were able to go into the bottom and admire from afar.

Our last stop of the day was to Outer Banks Brewing Station. We had the lawn to ourselves that evening. They had a large play pirate ship which Fletcher thoroughly enjoyed climbing.

DAY FIVE--Our last morning

We had to pack up the house first which took a little while because I feel like we basically moved in for four days. Then we had the most amazing breakfast at Stack 'em High Pancake House. The place is quite deceiving from the outside.

Our last stop of the trip was to see Jockey's Ridge. Basically a bunch of really large sand dunes. It was beautiful. But, not so fun carrying a toddler around in sand.

We had the most wonderful time on our trip. We explored more than we have on past vacations which was a nice change of pace. I really enjoyed getting to know the town we were staying in. We are still partial to the Southern part of Outer Banks but really had so much fun. Jared is already planning our next beach trip.