Lot

Something difficult about your "lot in life" and how you're working to overcome it. 

When I looked up "lot in life" there were several different explanations for this saying. Most agree that it is a Biblical reference from a story about Abraham and Lot in the book of Genesis. Some say it is synonymous with "the hand you are dealt in life." Or this is what you got, so deal with it. Basically, people who find trouble in their life (real or perceived) they claim it is their "Lot" in life and they must endure. 

So, what do I think my "lot in life" is? 

Simply, my father. 

I won't go into all the details but, he is a manic bipolar alcoholic, who I no longer have contact with for many reasons. I believe it is my "lot in life" because not having a father in your life is difficult, but it is especially trying when you are about to get married. 

Every girl dreams of having her dad walk her down the aisle, giving her away, sharing a father daughter dance, and listening to his speech about how happy he is that his little girl found someone to take care of her. I won't get to have those moments because my father won't be present to do those things. 

I used to, and still do sometimes, get upset or feel a tinge of jealousy when planning for our wedding and I see all the sweet ideas for the father-daughter moments throughout the wedding. 

However, I am overcoming the loss of that figure in my life. 

I am realizing the people around me who do care for me, who have actually been there and haven't hurt me. 

I will still be walked down the aisle by the two most important men (besides Jared) in my life. I will still be given away by my family who has supported me. I will still share a dance with an influential man in my upbringing. I will still get to hear speeches about how happy people are that Jared and I have found each other. These things will just not be done by my father. And that is ok. 

I want my wedding day to be the happiest day of my life and it will be because I get to marry the most amazing man on the face of this earth.

My "lot in life" stinks, but there are others out there who have it worse. 

I am grateful for the life and the family I have been blessed with because it brought me to where I am today. Yes, there are things that I wish I could change, but if it meant that today would be any different I wouldn't take a single thing back.

So, thanks "lot in life" aka p.o.s. father for making me into the person I am today,
I think Jared actually enjoys my crazy sometimes...

Life

A day in the life. 

7:30--time to wake up! (got to sleep in today because the dad I work for is studying for a test and has off work--woohoo!) 

9:00--give Charlotte bottle while watching Live with Kelly and Michael (our morning ritual) 

9:15--post-bottle coma 

10:00-11:30--enjoy other guilty pleasure, Pretty Little Liars while Charlotte naps 

12:00--Charlotte waits for lunch and learns to use her neck muscles in her bumboo seat while thinking I am insane...

 1:00--My lunch time, oh so nutritious! 

1:00-2:00--play time and walking the neighborhood

3:00-4:00--Charlotte is down for another nap and I am pinning for the wedding! 

5:30--basically steal Jared these awesome Vineyard Vines pants (two for the price of one)! Thanks Stein Mart! Even though I feel like an old lady shopping in there..

6:00--home to play with my sweet boy 

7:00--dinner is ready! Cheesy chili chicken and rice! 

8:00-whenever--off for drinks with Gwyn and Neil! 

The life of a nanny is oh so thrilling! (and exhausting)

Happy

Ten things that make you really happy. 

1. Jared (obviously). And knowing that I get to spend the rest of my life with him. 

2. Getting into a really hot car and almost having to catch my breath. Yes, weird and true. 

3. Beau (duh). He can always make me smile even when I am having an awful day.

4. The beach. Toes in the sand. Salt on my skin. 

5. My family. I have been blessed with the craziest and possibly the most dysfunctional group but, I wouldn't want it any other way. 

6. Giving gifts. I love seeing people open gifts that I got them. 

7. My (soon-to-be) new family. They welcomed me with open arms five years ago and I can't wait to officially call them in-laws! 

8. Movies. Or watching entire seasons of a show in one sitting.

9. My friends. Always there, no matter what. 

10. Getting my eyebrows done. I would have someone pluck them for an hour if possible. 

Apology

Issue a public apology. This can be as funny or as serious or as creative as you want it to be. 

Jared:

I am sorry that I have to be the voice of reason sometimes and tell you that you really shouldn't buy the expensive toys and gadgets that you would love to have. Like Saturday, when I said it was silly to buy all three Spiderman movies (we don't even like those). Or today, when you called telling me about the computer at Best Buy. Hopefully after the wedding (and honeymoon) we will be able to indulge more and you can buy more of your fancy toys. 

I am also sorry that I am sometimes not the nicest person to you. I know that my mood changes quickly and you never know what you are walking into. I am sure it was nice five years ago when we first started dating and I tried to be on my best behavior all the time. Now I am less like a lady and don't hold back my feelings around you. But, thank you for putting up with all of my moods and loving me through my crazy. I don't know how you do it, but I am sure my mother is very thankful it is you and not her. 

I love you with all my heart. I am sorry for not letting you buy crazy stuff. I am sorry I sometimes act a fool. 

Thank you for loving me back, always. 

Missing

What do you miss? (a person, a thing, a place, a time of your life) 

I miss my extended family.

My two brothers and I grew up very close to our three cousins (we are 6 months apart from our respective cousin-counterpart). 

Katilin and I stuck in the smack dab middle of it all. 

As we got older we saw each other less and less and the family vacations grew far and few between, but with the help of social media and family traditions we have remained close. 

It has been almost 4 years since I have seen some of them which is just insane now that I am thinking about it!

 I just got word yesterday that they will be making a week long appearance in Wilmington for our wedding!!! I could not be more excited to have them here for such a long time and to be able to turn our wedding into not only a celebration of our marriage but a mini family reunion for us! 

Bring on the crazy times (and bloody mary's & margaritas)!  

Circa 1995-ish

I miss Raleigh, NC.

Jared and I moved to Winston Salem about a year and a half ago after living in Raleigh for nearly five years (Jared had been there for seven-ish). 

Though we are only 1.5 hours away from Raleigh now we miss the city and our friends there like crazy! I miss knowing how to get places, where the good spots to eat were, seeing familiar faces around town, and mostly I miss being only 1.5 hours from my hometown, Wilmington.

 It would be nice to be able to see our close friends on a more regular basis, but we are having fun getting to know Winston and making new memories here. We couldn't of asked for better opportunities then the ones that have been presented to us since being here. 

However, moving back to or closer to Raleigh is hopefully in the near future for us.

Rooftop of The District with our new city behind us! 

I miss my mom. 

This goes along with the "miss" before this and because it is Mother's Day. I don't get to see her as much as I would like now that we live farther away. 

She is the most amazing woman that I know. She has done so much for me and my brothers as a single parent and we can never thank her enough. I am proud to call her my role model. I hope I have the love for my children and the passion for nursing as she does. 

Mom, I will always look up to you and will always be your litte girl (even after I marry Jared). 

Happy Mother's Day to all the sweet moms out there, but most importantly to my amazing momma! 

Selling

Oh shoot, look at me, already missing blogging days in May. Whoops. 

Yesterday was:

Sell yourself in 10 words or less.

I decided to have Jared come up with these 10 words for me. 

I think #9 came from my insistent nagging requests for help with these ten adjectives. 

Love him, but maybe more thoughtful words will come to mind when writing his vows.

                              

1. Smart 

2. Determined

3. Organized 

4. Funny 

5. Understanding 

6. Pretty 

7. Strong

8. Loving

9. Demanding 

10. Exciting 

Embarrassing

Most embarrassing moment (s). Spill. 

I embarrass myself constantly. I am always that person that forgets the name of people 2 minutes seconds after meeting them and awkwardly tries to find out their name in a discret way (why can't people just wear name tags regularly?). I am typically putting my foot into my mouth when speaking, I say things that shouldn't be said out loud. I can't tell you how many times I tripped in the brickyard and angrily turned to accuse the brickmonster of striking again (NC State alum will get this reference because it gets the best of us). 

I really debated hard about whether I wanted to share this moment. But what the hell. 

Hands down my high school graduation was The. Most. Embarrassing. Moment. Of. My. Life. 

Tony Spirakis had been in the same home room class as me since the beginning of high school and our names are next to each other on the roll. Sweetest kid ever. 

Graduation day comes and naturally we seated next to each other.

Our turn comes to walk. We are to exit the row to our left and file behind the line at the stage. Tony will be behind me if I get confused. 

It sounds easy enough right? 

We begin walking. Tony polietly says, "Um, Lauren you have this big stain on the back of your gown." 

Oh shit! Is my first thought. My face goes fire engine red. I realize mother nature has decided to grace me with her presence this morning. My. Damn. Luck. 

I look at Tony and try to say as cooly as I can, "Oh yeah. Must of, uhhh, been something in my, uhh chair..." (oh so smooth Lauren). 

I scoot across the stage, pose for the quickest solo picture ever after exiting the stage and use my diploma to cover up my back end as we throw our caps and exit the building. 

Once outside it is a million degrees. Literally. Everyone is pouring sweat. 

But, people seem to think it is a good idea to take pictures right outside the building in the blazing heat. 

I just wanted to get the heck out of there. 

This is the only picture I took with the girls that I had spent nearly 7 years in school with. Looking and feeling disgusting. And ran home. Horrified. 

This is the only memory I have of my high school graduation. 

I guess I will never forget it. 

I don't think I have seen Tony since we graduated.