Fears

I have given in, even though I am late, I will attempt the blog "Everyday in May" challenge that many of my favorite bloggers have started! 

Today is...

The thing(s) you are most afraid of?

1. I am afraid I won't finish this challenge. 

I started late. I like to procrastinate. Monday-Friday, 7:30-5:30, I am with a 4 month old baby and by the time I get home I want to spend time with my boys. I have tons of other things going on in my life, like planning a wedding and all...

2. I am afraid that our wedding won't turn out like I wanted or planned. 

I know everyone keeps saying "don't sweat the small stuff" "at the end of the day you and Jared will be married and that is all that matters" "it is about the two of you and no one else." 

Yeah, yeah, yeah is what I say to all of that. I know that the obvious point of a wedding is so Jared and I will become husband and wife which is the only thing that keeps me sane through the wedding planning at this point. And if it is just about two people getting married why is there such a big emphasis on weddings and why are putting such an insane amount of money and spend 12 months planning to throw a ridiculous party that lasts maybe 6 hours? 

I am guessing it is because we love our family and friends SO much and we want them to share in such a joyous occasion with us :) 

I can't wait to marry Jared and I honestly have no actual fear about that, but I am just ready for the day to be here sans planning...

3. I am afraid of losing Beauregard.

This is one of my biggest fears and my family thinks I am crazy. I love our dog like he is our son, because he basically is... 

I cannot tell you how many times I have left the house, gotten 5 minutes away, turned around because I couldn't remember if I had locked the door. Not because I am worried about people breaking in and stealing our possessions. I worry they will hurt or take Beau. 

We recently watched the movie "Killing Them Softly" with Brad Pitt and one of the characters stole dogs from peoples homes and sold them! I looked at Jared and said, "see I am not crazy, people out there actually do stuff like that!" 

I just love that dog so freaking much it is a little ridiculous.

4. I am afraid our house will catch on fire.

This is a legitimate fear. 

When I was in 8th grade we were returning from a soccer game and got a call that our house was on fire. Our animals stayed outside so there was no real danger to them but we lost a lot of things that can't be replaced that day. 

So I check all the burners on the stove and the floor heaters before leaving the house even if it is 95 degrees out and the heaters haven't been on for months. 

This goes back to fear #3, Beau stays in the house while we are at work because I don't trust our neighborhood to leave him out back alone, so really I worry he will get trapped, not really so worried about the other stuff in the house. Sorry Jared, your blu ray collection is not top of the list...

5. I am afraid I will need to get to work/an emergency and my car won't start. 

I drive a 1999 Isuzu Trooper. 

I have a love-hate relationship with this vehicle. 

I love that I have had it since I was 17 and it is a decent looking vehicle.

I hate that it likes to cost me lots of money in gas and breaks down at inopportune times. 

I am fortunate enough to have a car that gets me from point A to point B (most of the time)...

But, I am so looking forward to the day that I don't have to say a little prayer every time I go to start my car. 

Basically, I worry, excessively a lot. 

I over analyze situations constantly. 

Side note: I chose the horse, Over Analyze, to win the Kentucky Derby. He lost. Go figure, he was probably over analyzing the track instead of just running his face off. 

I am working on this trait because I know my worrying drives Jared and my mother people crazy.

This man helps me face my fears and to try not to worry about things because he lets me know that everything is going to be just fine.

Such a goof.