Struggle

Get real. Share something you're struggling with right now. 

Jared left this morning. 

He is gone to Milwaukee on a business trip

At 3:30am he kissed me goodbye and headed for the airport

I will not see him until Matt and Kelly's rehearsal dinner Friday night,
(yay for our sweet friends finally tying the knot!!)
which is also our five year anniversary together (what the what!?)

We will be apart for 112 long hours. 

People may think this is "dramatic" that this is my current "struggle"

But in all honesty we spend very little time apart from each other

And I like it that way. 

circa december 2008
that time Jared surprised me with his new "haircut"
and that I thought it was cool to part my hair entirely too far over...
even then we were inseparable. 

It isn't just the being apart part that is my struggle

It's the fact that my anxiety sky rockets when he isn't here.

Early in this challenge we had to talk about fears which I discussed here

Basically I freak about, well, everything. 

I have anxiety about everything. 

Especially when left to my own devices...

So really I am struggling with not only being away from my future hubs 

aka protector of all things scary and my life saver 

but the fact that every noise in this house scares me...

Beau is comforting, but won't beat down an intruder (lick to death, yes)...

we live in a not so safe neighborhood...

my car is sketch and likes to not work when I most need it...

 I am struggling with my anxiety. 

It could get its own chapter in my life

because it sucks and takes over my psyche.

hurry up Friday

Good thing I am marrying the man who keeps me clam and somewhat sane. 

Phew, deep breath. 

I will survive this week and Jared will travel safely home to me

and whatever the future holds (travel or not) we will survive.